1. In his wedding vows to Hillary, Bill Clinton promised to:

A ) Love, honor and cherish you until death do us part. Within reason.

B ) Remain faithful: i.e. abstain from non-oral sexual contact with extra-spousal parties.

C ) "Wear Pants"

D ) "Remove my right hand from the maid-of-honor's left buttock.

2. According to sources familiar with transcripts between Clinton and former White House Intern Monica Lewinsky, an aroused Clinton is heard exclaiming:

A ) "Let's pretend we're being watched by Leon Panetta."

B ) "NAFTA! NAFTA! NAFTA!"

C ) "$2.95 - for the first minute? What a ripoff!"

D ) "Ooo, baby, yeah! That feels good... Uh, no, sorry Yasser, I thought you were someone else."

3. Special prosecutor Kenneth Starr has been investigating Clinton since:

A ) Allegations of wrongdoing surfaced in the Whitewater land deal.

B ) Paula Jones filed sexual-harassment charges against Clinton.

C ) Questions surfaced about Democratic campaign finance practices.

D ) The introduction of Arab coinage in A.D. 696.

4. When discussing the White House sex scandal with children, what's the most appropriate euphemism for referring to the President's genitalia?

A ) Mr. Winky-Dinky

B ) Col. Flibbers

C ) Heinrich von Wriggle Meister

D) Li'l Elvis

5. Clinton this week forcefully declared: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anyone to lie. Not a single time. Never. These allegations are false." Assuming the contrary proves true, which of the following rationales would Clinton -- described in TIME magazine as a "cunning linguist" -- most likely use to deflect accusations that he lied to the American people?

A ) "I did not have sexual relations with her. She had them with me."

B ) "What I said at the time was that I didn't have sexual relations with a Ms. Slewinski -- and that's the God-honest truth. As for Miss Lewinsky, that's a different matter."

C ) "It's true that I never told anyone to lie a single time. I told Monica Lewinsky to lie dozens and dozens of times."

D ) "An 'allegation' isn't necessarily an accusation. According to Webster's it can also mean an 'assertion' and an 'assertion' -- again according to Webster's -- is a statement. So when I said 'These allegations are false', I was referring to my statement that I didn't have sex with Monica Lewinsky. Which I did. Get it?"