(Vienna/HP) In a surprise announcement, a revolutionary document was released this morning by a self-styled drinking club with a running problem. The text of the document reads: "We the Hash House Harriers of Vindobona, hereafter known as the real Friends of Bill, in order to see more perfect sex, establish the Bill Clinton's innocence, ensure domestic harmony with Hillary, provide for a defense fund, promote Monica Lewinsky's immunity from prosecution, secure the blessings of anarchy to ourselves and protect our posteriors, do hereby declare the 777th running of our Hash club the Bill and Monica Virgin Run."
The VH3 or F.O.B. claim to have invited both President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky personally to attend this special 'Virgin" run on Saturday, April 25th. They also seem convinced that the U.S. President and the ex-Intern will be flying to Vienna just to attend this weekend event.
"It's all hush-hush," said Mind the Gap, who identified himself as 'Grand Master' of the running club. "They don't want to cause too much bother for the Austrian goverment, so nothing is going through official channels."
Mr. Mind The Gap intimated that the President and Ms. Lewinsky, who herself has been a virtual prisoner of the media since the sex scandal story broke, would be travelling together to Vienna from Washington, possibly aboard Air Force One itself.
"The whole weekend will honor the contributions of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky to the Hashing movement. Something along the lines of hedonism and uninhibited nookie and such, I think," he stated. "They will become honorary members of our Hash, and that isn't something that happens every day."
Information he distributed about the weekend events describes a "777 Run" taking place on Saturday afternoon, a Arkasas Hillbilly party being held on the Saturday evening, and a "hangover run" on Sunday morning. Details are included elsewhere in this issue.
Mr. Mind The Gap and other individuals who were identified as more members of the Vindbona Hash House Harriers were heard shouting something like "On On!" as they left the interview.
On On, Indeed!
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